Writing-Describing a character

 

I think he is of Alice in Wonderland. He looks a bit evil he has lots of things on his hat it looks like he went to a rubbish bin and took things out and stuck them on his hat the
 smell is terribly awful. His nails look like mud has been smudged. He looks like a clown with a dirty tea cup. His eyebrows look like hair going up on the side it is so long it is like sticks poniting upwards.He can hypotnitise you and he will make you do stuff.

THIS IS MY DRAFT PIECE OF WRITING PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT TO TELL ME HOW I CAN IMPROVE MY WRITING. 

Writing-Describing a Setting

WALT: Describe a setting using lots of adjectives to make it interesting for the reader.


This house looks like a humungus building with an ordinary house on the side it looks like a rocket on the side geting reading to blast off. This house is in the city heaps of people are walking past and looking at it like they didn't know what it was it. A rich man owns this house because it is big and it looks like it would of cost a millon dollars it looks like a humungus piece of chase in the shape of a square.The windows look like a bar of delicous chocolate. The floor is like a mars bar split into a square.


This is my draft piece of wirteing please leave a comment to tell me how I can improve my writing

Anger Poem - Take 2

We have been writing emotion poems first we wrote one following a structure of what it looked like, smelt like, felt like, tasted like and sounded like. This time we had to come up with our own free verse poem using the emotion card of anger to help for inspiration.                                                            

                                                   Anger
                                                   Getting home work grr grr
                                                        Anger!
                                                      Getting so frustrated counting my maths
                                                        Anger!
                                                     Home work is way to hard
                                                       Anger!
                                                  No one helps you
                                                   Anger!

Anger poem

                                                      Angry

                                                         If anger was a colour it would be birght red like a pot of boiling

                                                        water

                                                           If anger was taste it would be just like hot chilli soup

                                                            If anger was a feeling it would be like a house on fire

                                                             If anger was a smell it would be like a smelly bin at the    

                                                              rubbish dump

                                                                 If anger was a sound it would be like a volcano erupting

Procedure writing

I need to work on my procedure because Amelia's origami whale didn't turn out very well also I need to work on my instructions and make them clearer so Amelia can understand me. Next time I write a procedure I will work hard to make these instructions clear.